Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Be alert and self-controlled
Me and my hubby have decided that we are going to start getting up earlier. While this is no big deal for my hubby, as he's a morning person, I have not yet followed through with the commitment. He keeps getting me up and I keep falling back asleep. Most of the time it's not even that I'm mentally making the decision to fall back sleep, I just do. I'm not alert enough to think straight. I love my sleep. I love it enough to let my guard down, and allow my desire for sleep to take over, take over my commitment to myself, and my husband. God wants us to be always alert and self-controlled. So that the desires of our flesh can not grab ahold of us, and rip us away from what we're called to do as christians. I lost sight of this the other day. I woke up wanting to be productive and happy. I wanted to give that day to God, and wanted to glorify Him in all I did. Well, He tested me that day, and I failed. Each and every single test, I failed. I gave into my flesh my frustrations and my anger. At one point I threw something across the room and said a, hmmm, "unproductive" word. Now, I have not behaved this way in a long time. While I have a history of anger and fits, God has been slowly breaking that away, as I've been learning to walk in self-control. This was not me, at least, not the real me that I've finally been discovering. No, this was an old unhealthy pattern that I was so quick to step into, with no guard up, no armor and no self-control. I was not alert. Later that day, after I had realized my sinful ways, I caught my little girl, getting frustrated because she couldn't get her barbie's dress on. My heart sank. I apologized to my daughter for being so wrong, and prayed that she would not walk in a lack of self-control. Well God, you got my attention! sorry it took so long I've been fiddling around..... But hey, it's pretty cool that today is a new day, and that His mercies are new every morning. A late morning might I add......but a great morning none the less.