Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, Warm Wishes.........Ok I'll just say it.........Happy Festivus!
The traditions of Festivus are quite simple. Festivus is celebrated on the 23rd of December. An aluminum pole is used on place of the Christmas tree. (To all my Seinfeld fans, you can acutally buy these poles online!) Everyone participates in what is called "the airing of grievances", which is basically giving everyone a piece of your mind, and expressing how much everyone has dissapointed you over the year. And finally, the "Feats of Strength", Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and "pinned."

Man, I have been feeling so overwhelmed with all the choas of Christmas, that I have seriously contemplated celebrating Festivus.........well, not seriously. But come on, if we're not focused on something meaningful during this season, a.k.a. God's heart, then why not celebrate a pointless holiday? As I've been seeking God's heart for my family, I've been seeing many go through the motions of Christmas, just like a routine. Everyone sings songs about Jesus the Son of God, but then carry on with their life of sin, not acutally making Jesus lord over anything. We exchange gifts, all the while expecting certain things, and if we don't get them, we're dissapointed. Maybe we truck off to all the "Stuff-Marts" on boxing day and buy them ourselves, as well as many other material things that we don't need. Am I dampering your Christmas spirit yet?

My hubby and I were driving around looking at Christmas lights on Christmas eve. We had the radio playing Christmas music. Talk about a nice 'Christmas mood' to get us into the "spirit" of things. So this song comes on by a secular artist, I think it was called "Make it Christmas day". The chorus of the song is, "get down on your knees and pray, He is the Son of God, if only for a day......make it Christmas day...." How incredibly twisted. This is not a pleasing sacrifice at all. Just one day eh? I sure I can give a day to the one who gave His life for me? I'll check my books.

Please do not allow my rants and raves to burden you. My hubby and I have felt a huge calling on us, to move in a different direction regarding the biggest holiday in the world, Christmas. I'm not trying to say that Christmas is bad, but like anything, the enemy can take something and make it self-centered, to take our eyes off the one true God. I am sick of how I get swept off my feet by the idea of stuff, food and more stuff......and more food. And like anything, we want to follow after God's heart, not ours.
"Jesus came so that sin would be defeated. Jesus came so that all may come to repentance. Jesus came to die. We focus so much on Christ 'coming' but I think we forget that the reason he came is because there are people that are condemned to Hell if they do not repent. " -(Quote from In search of Truths latest post)
I know everyone likes the idea of a baby, laying sweetly asleep in a manger, all cuddly, all content. But what about what He came here to do? To die a horrible death on a cross, a death we were destined to! As I go around for our seasons gatherings to my hubby's unbelieving family, I see our calling, right in front of me, but I get sidetracked, and distracted with all that the enemy want to blind us with. Christmas comes but once a year, better cash in on what it has to offer....... Well what do we have to offer to the King of Kings? I believe God has created us all to have something very specific and very unique and special to give at this time. I want to seek God's heart for me, will you join me?

Monday, December 19, 2005

I'm not a plant person. I have no interest in knowing what their names are, what they specifically need, and what they are succeptable to. I do know that all plants are different, and all have different needs. Some need direct sunlight while others would be harmed by direct light. Some need to be watered lots others not, some need lots of room to grow their roots and others thrive when rootbound. But this is all I know. Plants add life to my living room, so I like having them around, but I have to say I do a very poor job in caring for them. Many times I find that they want to die, to be put out of their misery, but I will revive them back to life, only to torture them some more. I don't really care about their needs, I just want my living room to look nice.
I was watering my plants this morning, and found that I had let them down once more. My hubby bought me one a while back and it's looking pretty sad. My mother-in-law gave me a couple plants last year, and neither survived the desert environment I gave them. I'm pretty sure she won't be giving me any plants again. I've proven myself untrustworthy.
So what is God like? He has proven Himself to be faithful, always. He knows my name. He knows my every need. He knows when my needs change, and knows what I'm prone and succeptable to. He knows when to give me light, and when to bring me darkness. He knows when I need a transplant, and is always gentle in doing so. He is always there as the very source of my life. He cares for me very well, and cares about me very much.
He will not let me die, even in a desert time, He is still there with water, it is up to me to drink. And at those times when I choose my own way, and I choose to not drink of Him, He will always be waiting with the water pitcher, to revive me back to life. It is me who poorly cares for myself, but my care-giver knows my name. He's a plant expert.

Friday, December 16, 2005

umm...excuse me? I need to get OFF the E.A.C.

I've been feeling slightly disconnected with the outside world. I feel like I've been sucked into the 'East Australian Curren't from 'Finding Nemo'. Life is passing me by, my friends, my family, and here I am on this crazy ride, fully capable of getting off, but, not. Why do we get so easily sucked into the "busy" mentality of this season? What is it about December that says we have to run around like chickens with no heads, aimlessly searching for our heads, so that we look and feel busy, but really, we're just headless chickens. I'm not minimizing all the tasks that we all have to do, half the stuff that's been weighing me down is very real, and needs to get done. But where is the peace and rest?
I've been looking around at the relationships in my life, and asking the Lord what it is I'm supposed to be doing in them, and asking myself if I am in fact walking that out. God has placed some specific people on my heart to build and seed into, and part of me is trying to turn a deaf ear. How much easier is it to stay in my comfort bubble, and hang out with the cool people I already know. But what about those who are stumbling? Who have no family and friends? Who are barely making it, let alone thriving in their destiny. It's for these people that God has taught me what I know to this point. It's for these people that I've gone through all the trials, all the hardships, all the testing. My daughter and I have been learning about butterflies, and how much they parallel with our spiritual walk. After they come out of their coccoon, they have only a couple weeks to live. During those couple weeks, the have one sole purpose, to find a mate and reproduce itself before it's too late. To whom am I reproducing God's grace? In all the busyness and all the chaos, all the running around with my head cut off, to whom am I building into? I mean really building into?? I wish I had a better answer than I have.
May I not impart this busy mentality to my children. May this season, and life as a whole be about serving and giving. I've been so selfish, not wanting anyone to rain on what I had planned. Since when do God's plans fit into a perfectionist's box? I know from personal experience, never. If I want my Christmas tree to look like a display tree from Sears, fine. But not my life, especially not at Christmas. There's people out there who need me, right now, and I need to throw out my perfect arangements, and show them a servant heart.

"Oh I can be loose................ see?"
-Eddie Murphy, 'Coming to America'

Thursday, December 01, 2005


My hubby has this sign up on our ceiling above our bed. It says "CHOOSE". I believe God has been teaching us for a long time what that means. And it's only been in the last while that I wake up to see the sign and actually understand what it means to walk in choice.
Last year, something incredible happened to my hubby and I. We had gone Christmas shopping all day, dropped hundreds of dollars, and at the end of the night, we stopped off at my parents house to pick up some things before heading home. When we got back into our car, we realized someone had been in it. Our cd's and our faceplate had been stolen. My hubby reluctently popped the trunk, where the hundreds of dollars worth of presents were tucked away. We looked inside to trunk to find that they were gone. As we drove away in utter shock and dismay, a complete divine thought came to me. The Holy Spirit ministered to me in a supernaturel way. He said, you have a choice, right now. I looked over at my husband, and voiced those words to him. We sat in silence for a while, and in unity, decided to choose faith.
Now, had it not been for God's abounding grace, there is no way that I could've walked that out, and even now, there are still more times than not, that I fall and give in to fear and doubt. But God has used this story for us to fall back on, to be encouraged by what comes out of following in faith and obedience. I trust that what happened to us last year was not about us. It spoke to all of our non-christian family, the faithfulness of God. It was a testimony of trust, a testimony that would not have been seen to the same degree had that not happened to us. It was also something that was used to build up the body, and to encourage our brothers and sisters that God is faithful, and that His body is amazing. The next day, an annonymous brother gave us a card that held money inside. We didn't need to ask who it came from, because we knew it was from God.
God got the glory in that situation. Unfortunately I don't give Him the glory in all situations, but I want to walk in that direction. The enemy always tries to tell me that I don't have a choice. That what's happening around me is out of my control, so I might as well complain and pout, or at bare minimum, entertain thoughts of self pity. Just the other day, another jab was made at me in my personal battle ground. I reacted out of anger and frustration. I went right back to my old ways of thinking, and fell right into the enemy's trap. Luckily my husband was able to recognize my sin, and was bold enough to point it out. "Snap out of it! Get up! You're healed! You're new!" (*revised with my own words, my hubby is a little more gentle) I'm so glad the Holy Spirit corrected me, as much as it was annoying, it was relieving. I do not want to go back down that road. I walked that road for so long, and it sucked the life right out of me. I used so much energy and strength on being mad, that I had nothing left for God, and in turn, He had nothing for me. I have a choice, everyday, every moment. I will make wrong choices, but I will get back up, and carry on with endurance to run this race we call life.
What I have learned through the awful thing that happened last year, is that the cross roads is now, not later. I always want to give into my flesh, just for a little bit, before I choose to walk in faith. Let me say, if that's the way we choose to walk, we are not choosing faith. To choose faith means you will not give in, you will not bow down, you turn your eyes up, now. This fallen world wants us to believe that we have rights. We have the right to give in to our sinful nature, and harbor thoughts of resentment and anger, we have the right to act out of immaturity for a short time, because of what has happened to us. I thought I had these rights, until I realized how much my thoughts conflicted with what the word says. Jesus says quite the opposite to us, and He requires us to pick up our cross no matter what the cost. He died to me, He shed His blood for my sins. He requires alot more of me than I'd like to admit sometimes. But the amazing thing is, is that I do not have to rely on my sinful self to walk it out. All I have to do is choose Him, and He does the rest.