Friday, June 30, 2006

cool and comfy.....well, cool anyway

My hubby and I have packed our bags, slipped our child under our arm and trucked over to my mother-in-laws central air conditioned home. Last night was the best sleep I've had in a while. I actually used a blanket, and didn't need a fan blowing full blast 2 inches away from my body.

I officially enter into my third trimester tomorrow. I went in for my prenatal appointment yesterday, and I now need to go in every two weeks. I forgot that you did that in the third trimester. Fun! I definately put on weight this last month, and my feet sure feel it. I'm in the process of searching around for some better sandals that will give my feet the support they need. I have no idea what I'm looking for, or what supportive shoes even feel like. I've never cared about what's good for my feet. I've always chalked up blisters, scratches and sore arches and heels as just part of being a female. No pain no gain sister.

My hubby and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary in Edmonton this last weekend. Of course the picture queen has many stilled memories to share, so stay tuned. We had an awesome time, I love my hubby so much. Tonight my little neice is over here for a sleepover, and tomorrow night we embark on yet another family adventure at Defienbaker park for the fireworks. Hope you guys have an awesome Canada day weekend. :)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wonderful is what I perceived this life would be
pain and problem free
but over time I found reality
and through it all I see
that You're the only one who gets me
I may be misunderstood cuz I would never fake it
You're the only one who understands my pain
cuz You get me
doesn't matter what they do, what they think, what they say
at the end of the day I'm okay anyway
cuz Lord You get me
No more tears it's a silent night
You've broken down all fear
cuz You've invaded all of me
You know me better than I know myself
the key to my security
there is no one else who gets me
I may be misunderstood cuz I would never fake it
You're the only one who understands my pain
cuz You get me
doesn't matter what they do, what they think, what they say
at the end of the day I'm okay anyway
cuz Lord You get me
I don't care what the world may say
I hear You call me by name
and I reach for You
there's nothing that I'd rather do
than worship You
Psalm 139:1-3
"O Lord You have searched me and know me, You know when I sit and when I rise, You perceieve my thoughts from afar, You discern my going out and my lying down, You are familiar with all my ways."
Went for a long ride on the pregnancy emotional roller-coaster yesterday. Seemed that no matter what I had to say about it, my body was going into cry-over-everything-mode, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it. Everything has been feeling just a little more physically strenuous these days, and yesterday I just couldn't seem to do anything without feeling completely exhausted. At the end of it all I snapped and had a melt down.
Hubby: "are you upset with me?"
I shook my head.
Hubby: "are you upset with your sister?"
I shook my head.
Hubby: "are you.......pregnant?"
Me: "yes........wahh!!!!!......."
Sigh. I went over to my moms, and walked in the door still drying my many tears.
My mom: "so how did your hubby hurt your feelings?"
Me: "he didn't."
Mom: "well who hurt your feelings?"
Me: "no one"
Mom: ".......then why are you crying?"
Me: "I don't know.......wahhhhh!!!!!
LOL, I'm so thankful that I'm able to recognize when my hormones are having a hay day, so that I can at least get through the roller-coaster rides. I know that this is exactly how God created my body to respond to the many miracles taking place inside of it. God is with me through it, He "gets me" and I don't even have to say anything, and His peace is still a gift for me to receive. My husband has been amazingly supportive, and I couldn't ask for a better man to walk this with. Thank God that those days only come and go sometimes, and that today is a new day. Blessings :)

Friday, June 16, 2006

I've witnessed a miracle

Today I saw my little one off into her mission field, carrying with her the love and mercy of Christ and her God given heart of a lion. Without fear, I am blessed to see all that God has redeemed, and excited to witness more miracles. His heart for my child is more than I can fathom, and I feel so priveledged to be in the front row to watch Him move through my child to bring His love into fallen places. I am absolutely floored when I look at where He has brought me, and the work He has done in my heart. To look back at all the bitterness and resentment I carried with me in my heart, I wonder how I ever had the strength to carry myself out of bed in the morning. The load I carried was so heavy that I would drop it continuously and spill it all over whoever was in my path. I knew I was walking in sin, but refused to let it go, I refused to let God in, because I knew deep down, that He would take away my anger. That anger was all I knew for 4 years, I was afraid of what would be left of me without it, and I was afraid to admit to myself that I was wrong, regardless of what had been done to me. To see the life that God has brought to the dead places, the forgiveness He has showered on the rotten soil, and the fruit He has given in place of dark black muck, is nothing short of amazing. There is nothing I have done to deserve all that He has given me, and there is nothing I can do to deserve all that He continues to do, but He does it anyways, because His love for me is greater than my sin. I don't need to "get it" to reap the fruit of righteousness. All I have to do is choose Him, choose to walk towards the light of the Son, and He will bring me to greater places than I've ever known. I am walking and living proof that miracles do exist, that the dead can be revived and the sinner redeemed. I love walking this road, because I know He is in control of it. Things aren't perfect, and never will be, I still shed some tears when I see her go, I am still a mother with a loud roar. But my heart is submitted to His will, not my own. I can now walk freely in knowing that my God will take care of my little one, and knowing that He doesn't need me meddling messing things up to get His work done. All He wants me to do is pray, soak and praise.

You spoke and made the sun rise
To light up the very first day
You breathed across the water
And started the very first wave
It was You
You introduced Your glory
To every living creature on earth
And they started singing
The first song to ever be heard
They sang for You
You make all things new!
You make all things new!
You redeem and You tranform You renew and You restore
You make all things new!
You make all things new!
And forever we will watch and worship You
You turn the winter into spring
You take every living thing
And you breathe the breath of life into it over and over again
You made the sunrise
day after day after day
But there's a morning coming
When old things will all pass away
And everyone will see!!!!
You make all things new!
You make all things new!
You redeem and You transform You renew and You restore
You make all things new!
You make all things new!
And forever we will watch and worship You
(~Steven Curtis Chapman~)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

A small fortune later, my little one is happy after her evening at the fair. It was pouring rain on our way there, so we thought we were going to have to do it another day. Little one was quite dissapointed, but handled it well. We headed in to Walmart since we were there anyway. We said a little prayer to God to ask if He could stop the rain for us, but if not, we knew someone must need the rain more than we needed to go to the fair. When we were done in Walmart, the clouds had broken and the rain had ceased. It was so nice for my hubby and I to share that moment with our little girl. We thanked God together.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Our last couple days, pre-rain

Weeee......... me and Faithfulness on the train at Kinsmen (la la la la)

Three of a kind........Full house

Carebear and I on the Ferris Wheel, ready to be sick

Digging for fossils at the Children's Festival....

Plate spinning......

And tight rope walking.....

Picture perfect

This little piggy's comin home with me

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


What makes someone want to be all alone on an island? Sounds like fun, sign me up.....
I'm still trying to get used to this whole concept, it doesn't make sense to me. Being secretive, fake, surfaced, why?? I'm not used to not knowing what's going on in the lives of my loved ones. I'm not used to having to dig for information, usually it's given to me freely, no questions asked. My sister and I were laughing today about how our family is the farthest thing from an island. In fact, we all share the same island, pushing eachother in the water and throwing coconuts at eachother, when we're not swinging from the trees of course. My hubby was trying to encourage me today, reminding me that God has placed everyone in my life for a very specific reason, and I need to keep my eyes focused on that reason, and not my own frustrations. I guess I just don't know how a life that's lived in secret, is worth living at all. Isn't the joy of this life to share it with others? Why do we need to guard everything so closely, and have such suspicions when it comes to sharing our hearts, or heaven forbid, our struggles? What is there to be afraid of?

But aside from all that....
My hubby and I are coming up on our 2nd year anniversary on the 19th! Praise God for His faithfulness, don't know where we would be without His endless mercy and grace in our relationship. I've been amazed lately at how God has redeemed so much in us, and how He continues to be glorified in things that we thought were too muddy to even show His face. My hubby and I both have pasts that lack purity. When we got engaged, we decided that we would walk in righteouness, and save it for our marriage. I can remember thinking when the rubber met the road, that it was easier said than done. One time I ran into a room and closed the door. I was crying to God, saying there's no way I can do this! It's too hard! It was amazing to hear His gentle response. "I've been waiting for you to say that......." From that moment on, I gave God the reigns, and He carried us through, right till the very end, and redeemed all that we had walked through. What a blessing that was, a blessing I never thought I would ever be able to have, from the bad choices I had made. Isn't that God's mercy? Not giving us what we DO deserve, and giving us all that we DON'T deserve. When my hubby and I were first married, we found it very hard to adjust. We can laugh about it all now, and we sure do, but at the time, I wondered why on earth God had ever brought us together. I still stand by my theory that opposites attract because God has a sense of humour. I'm sure I couldn't count how many good laugh attacks we gave Him in those first few months. God continues to walk us through many things, from the choices we've made in our past, and we continue to walk them out together hand in hand. Somehow it doesn't hurt so bad when you know you've got someone right beside you who will love you no matter what. I'm glad that God is walking us through these things, because I know glory is on the other side, and by the word of our testimony many people will come to know His love and forgiveness. I love my husband more than ever, my heart continues to grow and grow for him. I love watching him grow into an amazing man of God. I too easily forget how awesome he is. I know that I am where I am because of how my husband has led me. Of course many times I don't listen, but even then, he's so merciful. I can't wait to see where God will take us in the next year. A new baby....a new home perhaps.... to many new beginnings I'm sure.

May the God who loves and forgives, be glorified in your life today. I taught Sunday school the other week, and we made posters on how we could never ever gain our salvation. We tried to think of analogies, and I loved what the girls came up with....
Like eating your own head,
Like fishing on the moon,
Like camping on the sun,
Like seeing a leprechaun,
Like walking on a rainbow,
It's impossible, to gain what we have already been freely given.
Wow. Amen girls!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My cousin in the back and my niece at her taekwondo competition. Doesn't my cousin look like Jeannine Garofalo?

No but seriously!...........WHO would put that there? Any questions, ask Carebear.

My hubby being a boy with his toys.

A sisterhood made in heaven........where thunder rolls and lightning crashes. lol :)

A present from my little one. Awwww........

I tell ya....... if his mother saw his manners when she's not around......

Weeeee!!!! Go dad!

My lizard has been really sick for the last few weeks. We not exactly up for forking out hundreds of dollars for a vet visit, so we've been trying our best to nurse him back to health. Jericho has not been my favorite household member since day one. The first time I ever held him he pooped on me, and so you know, his poop is never solid. "That stupid lizard" has come out of my mouth at least a million times in the last two years. But in the last few weeks, I've actually developed a heart for the little guy. Seeing him sick and having a hard time has brought something out in me that makes me want to care for him. So, today, I was giving him a dose of calcium, and he pooped all over the clean fresh pants that I had just put on 5 minutes before. Not only that, but when I held him away from me and called for my hubby, he decided he wasn't done, and went all over the floor. Very frustrated, I'm asking myself why I even started caring about THAT STUPID LIAZARD. I knew I wasn't an animal lover, what made me think I could change.