Thursday, June 19, 2008

4 years/ 48 months/ 208 weeks/ 1461 days

I've been saying since our first year into marriage that I wish I was able to say we've been married for 10, so that people could stop calling us newly-weds. I'm still long awaiting the 5 year mark as some kind of invisible door that we'll pass through and become known for possibly knowing a thing or two.

But aside from my constant wondering what others think, I say screw it. Heck, 4 years, in this day in age? We might as well be celebrating our 25th! With divorce being so common, especially within the first couple of years of marriage, I'd say we've accomplished quite a feat already.

I've been thinking and chewing and pondering and seeking this whole marriage subject for a while now. Watching two couples close to us after only being married a year or two throw in the towel, and bawling through the movie The Break up, really forced me to take a look at my life and ask myself, am I really in this for the long haul?

They classify The Breakup as a comedy, but the movie I saw was a drama, a very very sad and depresssing drama. Here was THE couple, and because neither one of them were willing to look past themselves, they missed out, on what could have been. It really made me think of us, and how selfish and immature we were when we were first married. When I look back to that first year, I'm so embarassed. Things sucked, all the time. Occasionally, there might be a small breath of fresh air, that reminded us of why we loved eachother, but other than those occasional breaths, we suffocated through the first year. If I would've gauged what our marriage would be like on our first year, I would've been out that door faster than a fat boy on a smartie, with my daughter packed in my suitcase. Surely being a single mom was easier than this! I'm not joking, it was.

But guess what, we didn't kill eachother, we didn't leave, we bit our tongue, sometimes until they bled, we even vowed that neither of us would ever sleep on the couch! (Believe me, there were soooo many nights where you could've fit a whole football team between us on that bed) And after what felt like many years, our first year was completed, with some battle scars yes, but more importantly, a deeper sense of the commitment we made on June 19th 2004.

Time went on, and the more we gave of ourselves into our marriage, the more our marriage became amazing. Each anniversary we've had, we've been so amazed at how much more in love we are with eachother, and how much we've grown together as one. He's more like me and I'm more like him! It's weird to think it's only been 4 years, when I look at all we've walked through together. Poverty, custody and court battles, career and life changing choices, depression insomnia, physical ailments, a very hard pregnancy, a death in the family, buying our first house........I could go on, but I can't put our story in point form. Our story holds so many miracles, so much glory. When I really allow that to soak in, I'm so thankful that I did not give up, that I vowed with my whole self, that calling it quits was never an option, that we got through those tough times. Where would I even be today without all this blessing and beauty? I know I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for my husbands unconditional love, and the holy spirit working and moving powerfully through him. He is a man completely worthy of my respect, and I'm in awe and honored that I can call him my husband.

I know I may be making it sound like I think we now have it all together, that we're now "wise" because we stuck it out for 4 years. I know 4 years isn't really that long, and I know we have so much more to learn, and that we'll be figuring this whole marriage thing out until the day we die. I know that 4 more years will go by and I'll be saying wow! To think we thought it was good then, look at it now! I'm encouraged to know that God isn't limited or intimidated by time. I know that He sees the finished product, and that He has grace and mercy for the areas we struggle in. I'm just so amazed at how far we've come, and how much we've grown together. I couldn't imagine this life any other way.

I'm so in love with my husband. He was made specifically just for me, he has and is everything I could need, he completes me in every way, and I'm loving sharing the rest of this life with him.


  1. Marriage is a blessing: everyday we need to learn not to be selfish, and care for our husbands and families. As we journey through this may we celebrate all the way through, as this is a learning experience for the wedding with our savior. May the Lord bless you for many years to come, and 4 years is a big celebration.

  2. It is amazing and I'm so glad for you that you made it to year 4! I look up to you guys and hope and pray that my future marriage will grow similarly as yours has. Keep up the good work and keep falling in love with each other.

  3. Awww...what a wonderful post!! Happy Anniversary to you both! We just celebrated our 14th on the 11th!

    That last pic of you...hmmm...creepy! Haha!

    I wish you many, many, many more years of a God centered and beautiful marriage!

  4. very artistically written! that is our name for the day....

    But seriously, how do you write like that? so creatively, you are truly an artist, mrs. melancholic expressiveness....

    the pics are the perfect picks to describe your heart. i love that one where you're gazing up at chris.

    your marriage truly speaks of the heart of God's design for family.


    pic#2: "THis is our new family? Aren't we just adorable?"

    Pic#3: "Yep, He's mine....ALL MINE....I'm having a moment in the middle of shopping"

    Pic #4: "aren't we hot? Especially my hubby in these 'smart glasses'?"

    Pic #5: "this is me after I grew up. When I decided that suit looking pieces made me more mature. But actually, this is us after my hubby accomplished something very important (but the narrator of this comment forgot what it was)"

    Pic #6 Good times

    Pic #7 This was an awesome trip! Notice my hubby's pipe cleaner cross that he made when he couldn't sit still at one part of the trip? I was in awe of the artistic side of him. The color choice was amazing!

    Pic #8 "Do we look cool now?" (arnold swarzenagger voice)

    Pic #9 "You don't wanna know....(insert little 'in love' giggle here)

    Pic #10 I'm pregnant with my son here. We are waiting at our Dr.'s office...

    Pic #11 "IT"S A BOY!!!! IT"S A BOY!!!! IT"S A BOY!!!!! (the words of my hubby as he jumped up and down at the sight of seeing his new son"

    Pic #12 This is us, cool as cucumbers.

    Pic #13 "he's ALL MINE>>>>MINE MINE MINE>>>>>>>"

    Pic #14 "But we're never gonna survive...unless we get a little crazy....(that song...i don't know how sings it)

    Pic #15 Us again at ANOTHER Dr appointment

    Pic #16 "God, thank you that you've created us to mold and shape eachother. BUT I DIDN"T KNOW YOU MEANT THIS!!!!!"

  6. Happy Anniversary!!!
    It's not the time you've been married but the quality of your marriage!
    Wishing you many many more years of a blessed marriage!

  7. I love the last paragraph. You two are so cute.

  8. i really really like what jenny said. it's not about quantity! about quality!!!

    so true! how many marriages out there where they have been married for liek 30 years and you like, "holy, that would suck!!!"

    and then you see people with like 5 years and God is there, and these people are making huge dents in the kingdom of darkness!!!!

    good one jenny

  9. wow nin, that was OSOOO well written!!! seriously!!! thanks for putting that journey into words. i can totally relate to that!
    congrats on your anni!