Sunday, February 05, 2006

emotional chaos

Have been so flipping emotional it's not even funny......well, yeah it is.

Friday I spent most of my morning sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor bawling my eyes out, then spent a good portion of the afternoon in bed bawling my eyes out. When I finally built up enough strength to get up, I went over to the kitchen to wipe off some of my daughter's place mats that she had painted on. As I wiped the paint off I noticed I was wiping off the finish from the placemat. I felt at that very moment that everyone I knew had just died, and that I was all alone. The placemat was wrecked, and it was the end of my world as I knew it.

Saturday evening I was driving with my hubby in the snow and wind, and the road were slick. Now I'm not a nervous driver. Driving is fun! I'm the kind to actually giggle at people (like my mom) who clench their steering wheel until their knuckles are white, and drive like a snail when the weather is acting up a little. I wonder how people like that can keep their sanity when they feel so uptight. Well, I think I got a taste of how they must feel. I felt so overwhelmed with everything going on around me that I burst into tears. I felt claustrophobic in our little car, I felt like I couldn't see anything, I felt like everyone was driving 1000 mph, and that the wind was going to flip the car over. What's going on??

So the last few days have been a blur, with chronic fatigue and emotional chaos, I can barely tell you what I did yesterday. My hubby has been amazing and very supportive. He's always been encouraging to me even at those monthly times, letting me know that's the way God made me, and that he loves the way I am. Awwwww......don't make me cry.

Just when I think I have no tears left, my body lets me know otherwise. I hope this doesn't make some of you want to steer clear of me. I'm still fun!!! I swear!

11 comments:

  1. Oh the joys of being pregnant!! You sound just like me...and I'm not pregnant! Ha Ha!

    Its an emotional time, but I know, it feels 100% more than it should. Everyone understands. There's an awesome reason for it too, just remember that. Tears are good, whether they're happy or sad ones.

    Take care, you'll be alright.

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  2. i feel the same way as Tanya - i was exactly like that! i still am sometimes. it sure helps to have an amazing husband at your side. cry all you need too! you're carrying a life for goodness sakes! you get to do whatever you want! haha.

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  3. Totally hear the emotional rollercoaster. Been there, but I can say it will pass. Your body is creating an amazingly gifted young child of God. So emotions are to be expected.
    Love ya

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  4. I have never been pregnant, but with 5 women in the house I definitely understand being emotional. You are fun and I thought about you lots last week. I should have phoned. I love you.

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  5. yah, totally go for it! i think being pregnant is completely different from one person to the next.. some ladies get morning sickness. But maybe you just get emotional sickness. ..

    yikes, i hope i don't get either!

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  6. wow are you ever pregnant!! I was feeling like that on Sunday. If Chris needs support and advice on how to handle you I'm sure Kelly will help him out, he's been through this once or twice...or is this the sixth time?

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  7. We are here for you babe.
    Hang in there

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  8. The thing about being preggy is ENJOY every moment of it! Embrace the hormones! ALL the symptoms! You are blessed to experience the miracle of life.
    I love watching you being preggy. I love being around you....it's like I can feel the life radiating from you! I"M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!
    no, but seriously.
    I am seriously super duper excited

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  9. Happy Valentine's Day Mom to Be!!!

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  10. thank you for lovely comments - we love you guys too and appreciate your friendship a lot. wow - can't believe you had some tears over our love story - for some reason I never think of it as being very romantic. thanks........

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