Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I am mother hear me roar
My heart feels like it's breaking in two. I'm feeling anxiety, nervousness and helplessness. I am a mother, with a God-given fierce heart for my child. I am very protective of my daughter, and my standards for her are very high. My hopes and dreams for her far outweigh my own, and I would give my life if it meant saving hers. As many of you know, my wonderful husband is not the biological father of our daughter. She goes to see her dad every second weekend as well as the ocassional holiday or lunch-in here and there. This summer, it's been agreed that she will go for an entire week with her dad. I knew this day was coming, and I've been dreading it since. So it is here. The reality of it is setting in, that I will not see her for one whole week. For many parents out there, you might be thinking wow! What are you complaining about? I'd love to have a week break! Well, I would not. My daughter is my calling, one of my few important and meaningful purposes in this life. The rest of my life has been put on hold. When people ask what I do, I say her. I've never been away from her for longer than a weekend since she was six months old. What on earth am I going to do with myself? I had a big cry tonight, and I know there's many more where that came from. My little girl will be leaving at the end of this month. Could you all please pray durring that time? That she will be protected and safe, and that I will stay sane and alive. My husband gave me a long hug tonight. I felt God telling me that He wants to hold me like that, and that I can rest in His arms. That He will carry me and comfort me through this, as He always does. It's so mind blowing to think that God's heart for my daughter is bigger than I could ever fathom. His hopes and dreams for her are bigger than I could imagine. And He protects her far better than I ever could. Seems like a pretty awesome God to release her to.