Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I am mother hear me roar

My heart feels like it's breaking in two. I'm feeling anxiety, nervousness and helplessness. I am a mother, with a God-given fierce heart for my child. I am very protective of my daughter, and my standards for her are very high. My hopes and dreams for her far outweigh my own, and I would give my life if it meant saving hers. As many of you know, my wonderful husband is not the biological father of our daughter. She goes to see her dad every second weekend as well as the ocassional holiday or lunch-in here and there. This summer, it's been agreed that she will go for an entire week with her dad. I knew this day was coming, and I've been dreading it since. So it is here. The reality of it is setting in, that I will not see her for one whole week. For many parents out there, you might be thinking wow! What are you complaining about? I'd love to have a week break! Well, I would not. My daughter is my calling, one of my few important and meaningful purposes in this life. The rest of my life has been put on hold. When people ask what I do, I say her. I've never been away from her for longer than a weekend since she was six months old. What on earth am I going to do with myself? I had a big cry tonight, and I know there's many more where that came from. My little girl will be leaving at the end of this month. Could you all please pray durring that time? That she will be protected and safe, and that I will stay sane and alive. My husband gave me a long hug tonight. I felt God telling me that He wants to hold me like that, and that I can rest in His arms. That He will carry me and comfort me through this, as He always does. It's so mind blowing to think that God's heart for my daughter is bigger than I could ever fathom. His hopes and dreams for her are bigger than I could imagine. And He protects her far better than I ever could. Seems like a pretty awesome God to release her to.

5 comments:

  1. With God all things are possible...God will never give us more than we can handle...look at the birds of the air, they are clothed with all the splendo of Solomon, but God cares for us so much more and will take care of us even more. I will be praying for you...This just means you get to spend time building more bridges in relationships.
    Many many blessings

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  2. Yes, I will also be thinking of you and praying. These are times that God definitely works in you and can work on your identity in Christ. That's what I have found, anyways. It's hard being away from the ones we love, isn't it? I struggled with being long distance from my man, when we were apart. Lots of tears!

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  3. This situation has caused more growth in you than anything else. This faith and trust that God is giving you through this will move mountains. As time goes by, I see the faith growing as you release precious Jonah into God's hands. I know that you know that Jonah's life will be protected. God turns all to good.

    Jonah will be a mighty woman of faith and hope to many as she grows. Her testimony will reach far beyond our human eyes. The home that God has provided for her with you and Chris will be a safe place of refuge where she will find the peace of Christ and the unconditional love she will need.

    His grace is sufficent!
    P.S. You DO have quite the mighty roar of a mother!

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  4. Thanks for your awesome words of encouragment carebear. Love you lots, and it means allot to me to have you.

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  5. Hey Nin it is me, living. As I read this blog I almost burst out into tears, because I know this must be extremely hard on you. I kinda of felt your pain there for a moment. But then, peace, God given peace. Because God loves you, and your entire family, he will gather Jonah in His eagle wings and surround her while she is away from you. And rest assure that he loves her more than you could ever. But I love your heart, even though I am sure you miss her terribly. And I love your calling, because you are truly gifted at it. I will pray for her, for you and for Chris until she comes back. Your an AMAZING MOM, and I am glad that you have come so far, isn't God amazing! Love you, sis, Ranya

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