Monday, November 01, 2010

Driving for Dummies.

Hello and welcome to driving for dummies. My name Mrs. Nin and I'll be your instructor.
Driving for dummies is a beginner driver course, although, not limited to beginner drivers. Oddly enough, there are people on the road who've been driving for years and still do not understand these simple concepts.

Please take a moment to examine this sign....

Once you've had a good look, examine the following one....

The first thing you probably noticed, is that the two signs are not the same. Yes, you're correct, they are different. Good work people!
The first sign is a merging sign, meaning, you will be merging into and along with traffic.
The second sign if you'll notice the dotted line, is actually preparing you for your very own added lane. Yes people, your very own lane!
Now, let's say it together,
Merging........Own lane. Merrrrrging. OWN lane.
Very good.
Now the key to following these signs, is to first, read them. When you pull up to a right hand turning lane, watch the signs. If you see the second added lane sign, well by golly, don't hesitate to drive into it.
Would it help if you knew that lane was there just for you? It's true! No need to slow down to the speed of a snail, and definitely no need to stop. Heavens please, no stopping. The sign was placed there so that you know NOT to stop.
I know that realizing these things after years of driving, and years upon years of stopping and holding up traffic while other people sit and wait for you to "merge" when there isn't actually any merging involved since you have your own lane and all, not to mention years of driving and never really understanding road signs, can be a bit of a blow to the pride. But don't worry, there's no judging here. This is a safe place. And hey, we all make mistakes. The key is to learn from them, and for the love of pete stop stopping and holding up traffic at an added lane turn.

This concludes our driving for dummies. Thank you, and please help yourself to some refreshments on the back table before you go.


  1. There is about a thousand other signs you should teach about in traffic school. And about 10 thousand different behaviours and driving tips and techniques that most people don't remember or realize too.

    Such as, when passing by construction you are to drive as fast as 60 kph within reason. Do not stop/slow down to gawk at the construction workers who are on their break because they take their breaks just when you happen to drive by. Do not stop/slow down to gawk at the accident on the other side of the barricade in the opposite lanes of traffic to find out what happened. If you were not involved in it (ie/ hurt or in pain or bleeding from hitting that car that is wrapped around a light post,) you don't need to care about it. The fire department and police and first responders can care enough about it for everyone else. They are also PAID to do so.

  2. Nicely done Andrew, totally.
    Another one is the first day that *gasp* SNOW hits the ground, everyone drives 20, which causes accidents. Hello people, you live in Saskatchewan, have you not driven on snow? MOVE ALONG!

  3. So funny...I might have peed a little...OK, I didn't...but I laughed :)