May I have a Great mind

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I stumbled across this quote the other day, and have been pondering it since. I can't help but admit that I have had a small mind most of my life. God has been slowly breaking this unhealthy pattern for a while now, but it's still a stuggle for me. My mind is curious, about all the wrong things. I always want to know who's talking to who, why where and when, and what was said with what body language and tone of voice. So that I, can then form my own opinion of a situation that I myself was not a part of. Why do I do this? What do I gain when I go digging for information? I keep thinking that I'll strike gold, but instead I keep finding garbage.
I've been gossiped about. I've had personal intimate struggles made public by those I've trusted. I've had judgements come against me by those who are ignorant to the truth of the situation, but carry with them a hint of second hand information. I know very much how it feels to be talked about for reasons other than encouragement and bringing glory to God for all He's done and is doing. I've felt betrayed, dishonored and violated.
I want this unhealthy pattern in my life to stop. Why would I want others to feel how I've just described? I'm not thinking of these things as I'm gossiping, I'm only thinking of feeding my flesh, my cravings and my selfish desires. Maybe I like to build myself up by knowing what others are struggling with. Wow...... is that me?
God has been showing me that His love for me is not based on my performance. He's been doing things in me and in my life, that defy all logic. I ask myself, what have I been doing God that deserve all this blessing? The answer my friends is nothing. He's pouring out His spirit on someone who struggles with the very same things I judge others for. It seems that He's working out the judgemental spirit in allot of us, He wants us to come together in unity. He wants us to talk about eachother in love, He wants us to build eachother up, encourage eachother, and praise Jesus for the amazing work He's done in us! In my flesh I am judgemental and critical, but thank God I can love you all through His grace and His grace alone! Thank you Jesus that your love is not based on our performance. And thank you fellow brothers and sisters for loving me through good times and bad. I want to love you the same!
-Nin