pregnancy sighs...

Don't remember the last time I experienced a full nights uninterupted sleep. I seem to wake every hour, for either toilet callings, back pain, general physical uncomforatableness, and more back pain. I know it's normal to get a lot less sleep as the time gets closer, you're big you're heavy and baby is taking up and using everything you need to sleep well, but since my back pain started back when we concieved, I've been having poor sleeps for a lot longer than the average pregnancy brings on. Sometimes my back cramps up real bad, to the point where I can't even roll over to my other side, so I get out of bed and walk it off. Yes, I wander around the apartment at odd hours, walking back and forth, up and down, from room to room. Finally when it's feeling a little better I get back into bed and lay there with my eyes wide open, wide awake. It's bringing back memories of when I had insomnia, and I would lay in bed and look at my husband, feeling tremendous jealousy of him laying there so peacefully. At times feeling impish and wanting to wake him up, so he can share in your misery. Although, my hubby has his share of complaints. Since I move around and get up so much, he doesn't rememeber the last time he has a good nights sleep either. Not to mention all the times he has to get up to get me something. He's become enemies with my body pillow, as it takes up most of his room. Add a large growing wife to that body pillow and hubby is left with negative sleeping room. Sigh....
People say the silliest things when you're pregnant. "Wow you're getting BIG!" is always a good one, but my personal favorite is,
"So when are you due?"
"September"
"Oh.....so you still have a ways to go yet."
"yeah".......................SMACK! Like I forgot. Thank you for bringing me back to reality, there would be nothing worse than me believing the lie that I'm almost there...... -lol ahhh!
Anyways, this is my life. Be blessed, God is good!

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship with another

Baby seems we never ever agree

You like the movies

And I like T.V.

I take things serious

And you take 'em light

I go to bed early

And you party all night

Our friends are sayin'

We ain't gonna last

Cuz I move slowly

And baby I'm fast

I like it quiet

And I love to shout

But when we get together

It just all works out

who'd a thought we could be lovers

She makes the bed

And he steals the covers

She likes it neat

And he makes a mess

I take it easy

Baby I get obsessed

She's got the money

And he's always broke

I don't like cigarettes

And I like to smoke

Things in common

there just ain't a one

But when we get together

We have nothin' but fun

Baby ain't it somethin' How we lasted this long

You and me Provin' everyone wrong

Don't think we'll ever Get our differences patched

Don't really matter Cuz we're perfectly matched

We come together cuz opposites attract

~Paula Abdul~

It seems that more and more everyday, I'm learning that my husband and I probably couldn't be more different from eachother if we tried. We serve the same amazing God, we share the same love for one another, we share the same love for our wonderful daughter, and we share in the miracle of the creation of the new life inside me. But take all those things away and you're left with nothing but one black and one white. I find it so amazing how God has placed us together, He knew all the things that I lack and need, I would find in my husband. And He knew that all the things my husband lacks and needs, he would find in me. Taking it one step further, He knew the needs and lacks of my family, and that my husband would bring a new balance to them. Just as I bring a new balance to the lacks and needs in his family. My husband has tightened my screws so I wouldn't fall apart, and I've loosened him up, that that he won't crack or break under pressure. We've both grown so much in what it means and looks like to be a servant of the Lord to one another. I look back at the way things looked like when we first got married, and thank God everyday that He brought us through those hard times. We used our differences against eachother, instead of building eachother up, or using them to move forward in ways we were unable to before we had one another. I came across this quote this morning.

"Opposites attract, but after marriage, opposites attack. Most of the time, we are attracted to people who don't have the things that we have. Incompatibility is why we get married in the first place, but it's also used as a reason to divorce. "

~ by Dr. Charles Lowery ~

I can't help but have an aching heart for those struggling in their marriages because they've been blinded by the enemy to think that our differences with our spouses are a bad thing, something to be defensive against or in opposition to. Dr. Lowery goes on to say,

"Incompatibility is just a lack of communication. If we just try to love our spouse the way we want to be loved, we are in trouble. Unless you communicate, it's difficult to know how to love another person."

Our society has become so selfish when it comes to love. It is no longer about serving one another, but about self gratification. Roaming around this world, trying to find the 'right' person that will make 'me' happy, that will be all that I want them to be, so that I can be fulfilled and satisfied, so that my dreams and goals can be fulfilled. It's ok if they want to have their own dreams and goals, just as long as they don't conflict with mine, in which case I'd have to go and find someone better suited for my needs.

I know, this sounds awful, but this is exactly how most people in our world are taught to think. "There is always a way out if it's not meant to be." Heaven forbid we pour ourselves into working hard, into doing whatever it takes, nah.....that requires something of me, commitment.

I've been aching for the marriage of someone close to me. Without the knowledge of the love and grace of God in their lives, I wonder how they will press through, when the advice they're receiving is that if worse comes to worse, there is a way out. And really, if it wasn't "meant to be", you don't want to go against 'fate' as it would be waste of time.

So sad....

I need your prayers. My husband and I want to be a light in this dark time, but there's been a wall built up, and these loved ones have pulled away. I find it very difficult to have a relationship with someone who hides themselves, who keeps their trials in secret, and doesn't reveal their true heart. We've not been placed in a position where we feel we can speak into their lives, and it hurts to see them hurting so much when I know there is so much more for them.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ~

How could one even try to walk these things out without the power of God behind them? It's not possible. These things go against our very nature as human beings. We are not programmed this way, we are selfish and sinful. Please pray for us as we seek the Lord on what our role should look like in this time, and that we walk obediently to His will and not ours. Blessings, and may God be with you in your marriage today, and pour down His love and mercy.

There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path...

Wise words...
It's always neat to get a big dose of solid biblical truth from a multi-million dollar blockbuster hit movie. I'm sure it puts a smile on God's face when He watches many walk away from a Hollywood film more in tune to His heart without even knowing it.
I've been pondering on this truth the last little bit. I've been feeling a little off balance in my relationships lately. Back around Christmas time, God led me and my husband into a season of rest. He directed us to remove many of the things on our plates at the time, and concentrate a lot more on our marriage and family. In this time we've grown closer together than we ever have before, and have been very blessed to see the Spirit of God move in different areas of our lives, sometimes in ways we least suspected. Through it all, we've grown closer to Him.
These days, God is making it loud and clear that our season of rest is coming very quickly to an end, and that it's time to move forward, whatever that may look like. In stepping back, we not only stepped back from the busyness and chaos of everything, but also the importance of getting together with others in the body of Christ. I believe that we walked this out as God has led us to, and that He's using this to teach us about balance. In the relationships we've kept in contact with, we've found we've been starting to leave feeling a little drained. At first I thought nothing of it, and knew that there were specific relationships that God has placed in my life right now that have high needs, and that I need to seed into. After a while, we found ourselves constantly helping others in the areas they need help in that both of us started asking the questions, where are we at? What do we need to change? Where do we need encouragement? What is wrong in our marriage or walk with God that God needs to convict us in? We looked around, and suddenly realized that we've not put anyone in a place to speak correction into our lives. As we've been seeding into others, no one has been seeding into us, and in the end, we've found ourselves mal-nourished, and unbalanced.
I love how God has a balanced plan for every area of our lives, and when we fall outside of that balance, we feel a lack inside our spirits, telling us that we're low in fuel somewhere. When we walk in obedience to God's will for our lives, we're ready, willing and quick to refuel when needed. Ironically, I've been finding myself excited for someone older and wiser to come along and tell me what to change and where to grow. I'm actually craving correction! God has placed a few people in our hearts to start walking with on a regular basis, and I'm very excited to see what God has in store. Some prophetic words have been spoken over us, and there are some amazing servants of the Lord who are willing to walk this road out with us. I'm so blessed that there are others who love me too much to leave me where I am, and who fear the Lord too much to watch us stay stagnant, when I know that God has big plans for us. My mind is blown every time I take a step back and look at the church family God has blessed me with. I would not be where I am today without their support and love. Don't get me wrong, I'm no super human who has no pride or ego. There definately are times when correction is the last thing I want, where I've turned away and done my own thing anyway against the wisdom of others. But I'm choosing to believe that God has now brought my heart to a place of knowing what's good for me, and knowing what's not. Doesn't mean I'll always make the right choice, doesn't mean I'll always receive correction with a smile.
There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. I could sit here and not grow, and no one would know. I could fake my walk, and pretend that I'm mature in all the areas I need to be. I could very easily remain stagnant, idle, lazy. I can seem and feel "holy" when no one else is around to frustrate my preferences. I can fool myself into thinking that I'm mature when there is no one around to challenge me. But isolation like this breeds nothing but deceitfulness. I want others to challenge me, to teach me and mold me. I do not want to live a lie, that everyone needs to change but me. I know I will grow faster and stronger when I have someone wiser to learn from and be accountable to.
I'm really looking forward to embarking on this new season with God and my husband. I hope and pray that we keep our focus on Him and His plan, and walk accordingly and obediently. I've been so encouraged by all those who God has placed in my life to seed into. I've been so blessed to watch them grow and serve God in new ways, to pick up their cross and keep walking. I've come to learn that growth can not take place without sacrifice, and to be able to watch someone walk in sacrifice to their King, is and has been an amazing privelledge. God is good.......all the time.
~Peace~

Little one update

My baby's home now reaches 4 1/2 inches above my belly button. Baby is gaining weight rapidly, and by the end of next week he or she will weigh in at about 3 pounds and measure about 16 inches long. Head hair is starting to grow, and baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes. Baby also has nails reaching the tips of his or her fingers and toes. Baby's skin is pink and smooth. Brain growth over the next two months will be dramatic. Baby's lungs, though still immature, are now beginning to function.

The making of a human life is nothing short of a miracle. What a blessing it is to be able to produce another human being into this world in love and obedience to my heavenly father. Each day I'm becoming less nervous and more and more excited. I can't wait to meet this new little one, and see who it is that God had destined to add to my family in two short months.

Hope

My light at the end of my tunnel, is getting brighter and brighter as I read more and more in His word about the hope found only in my heavenly Father. God has been leading me to endless scriptures that speak of an indescribable hope, something our world is far too busy worrying and freting to have.

The Bible says in Ps. 25:3 that those who hope will never be put to shame, Lam. 3:21 says that we can hope in His great love and that His compassions never fail, Pr. 23:18 says that our hope will never be cut off, and Rom. 5:4 says that hope will never disappoint us.

We are blessed (Ps. 146:5), we find rest and confidence (Ps. 62:5-6), we find patience (Ps. 130:5), we find strength and endurance (Isa. 40:31), we find encouragement (Ro. 15:4) and our longings are fulfilled (Pr. 13:12) when we hope in the Lord our God.

God puts much emphasis on the fact that we find this hope when we read His word. Ps.130:5 talks about waiting in His word. Ro.15:4 talks about finding our encouragement and endurance in the scriptures, and Ps.119:74 talks about ministering and witnessing to others when we hope in His word.

"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:24
It's funny how I ask God to clearly show me the answers, or remove the obstacles in my way, so that I can know what it is I'm hoping for. When all the while those questions and obstacles are there so that I can find hope. I'm always trying to find out whats on the other side of that door, or whats around that bend, but in not knowing and not seeing, I am able to find hope and wait patiently. God is always calling us to exercise our faith muscles. If He didn't, we wouldn't grow any stronger, in fact, our muscles would actually get weaker and smaller, and we'd find ourselves asking "why am I finding this whole Christian walk so darn hard??" (Ever asked this one before?).

I for one am sick of turning to the things of this world to put my hope in. I'm so tired of worrying and freting over the what ifs and the what abouts. If this is how I walk then why would I bother following a God who promises all the things He speaks of in His word? I'm finished resembling just another someone of this world, who has no hope, who hopes in herself. Pr. 13:12 says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. Deferred means shelved, put off, postponed or set aside. I've found my heart sick far too often, and am picking up that hope that has been set on the shelf for far too long.

My soul will find rest in God alone, I will hope in Him, for He alone is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, and I will not be shaken. (Ps. 62:5)
My fears and questions have been laid at the foot of His cross, it doesn't matter to me what's on the other side of that door, I know where my hope lies.

~Peace~

My getaway with my hubby

Feeling pretty good leaving the city.......for now

Get me outta this car man!

"Do we look cool now?" (notice my glasses have teeth)

My hubby's aunt booked me in for a pedicure! I never had one before, it was awesome. Did you know that they shave the dead skin off your heels with a razor blade? Gross....

Us infront of West Ed mall. If there was a thought bubble popping out of my head it would say "heh heh heh....."

See? heh heh heh.....

A few shopping bags later, sore feet and a sore back, the wife think she's got it out of her system

Our anniversary dinner at the Keg

My hubby decided to impress me by going savage and devouring a lobster

My facial expression at the end of every evening.....owweeee.......very sore.

Was so nice to come home. I missed my little one, and I missed my own bed. But it was such a blessing to be able to take off for a few days and spend some time with my husband. We've been so blessed in our marriage in the last two years. It's mind blowing to think of all the miracles we have yet to see. I'm so thankful that God has made a home in our marriage, and I pray that He will use it to minister the love of Christ to others.

Hope everyone is surviving the heat. (I know I'm not)

Chao.

cool and comfy.....well, cool anyway

My hubby and I have packed our bags, slipped our child under our arm and trucked over to my mother-in-laws central air conditioned home. Last night was the best sleep I've had in a while. I actually used a blanket, and didn't need a fan blowing full blast 2 inches away from my body.

I officially enter into my third trimester tomorrow. I went in for my prenatal appointment yesterday, and I now need to go in every two weeks. I forgot that you did that in the third trimester. Fun! I definately put on weight this last month, and my feet sure feel it. I'm in the process of searching around for some better sandals that will give my feet the support they need. I have no idea what I'm looking for, or what supportive shoes even feel like. I've never cared about what's good for my feet. I've always chalked up blisters, scratches and sore arches and heels as just part of being a female. No pain no gain sister.

My hubby and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary in Edmonton this last weekend. Of course the picture queen has many stilled memories to share, so stay tuned. We had an awesome time, I love my hubby so much. Tonight my little neice is over here for a sleepover, and tomorrow night we embark on yet another family adventure at Defienbaker park for the fireworks. Hope you guys have an awesome Canada day weekend. :)

Wonderful is what I perceived this life would be

pain and problem free

but over time I found reality

and through it all I see

that You're the only one who gets me

I may be misunderstood cuz I would never fake it

You're the only one who understands my pain

cuz You get me

doesn't matter what they do, what they think, what they say

at the end of the day I'm okay anyway

cuz Lord You get me

No more tears it's a silent night

You've broken down all fear

cuz You've invaded all of me

You know me better than I know myself

the key to my security

there is no one else who gets me

I may be misunderstood cuz I would never fake it

You're the only one who understands my pain

cuz You get me

doesn't matter what they do, what they think, what they say

at the end of the day I'm okay anyway

cuz Lord You get me

I don't care what the world may say

I hear You call me by name

and I reach for You

there's nothing that I'd rather do

than worship You

(~Zoegirl~)

Psalm 139:1-3

"O Lord You have searched me and know me, You know when I sit and when I rise, You perceieve my thoughts from afar, You discern my going out and my lying down, You are familiar with all my ways."

Went for a long ride on the pregnancy emotional roller-coaster yesterday. Seemed that no matter what I had to say about it, my body was going into cry-over-everything-mode, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it. Everything has been feeling just a little more physically strenuous these days, and yesterday I just couldn't seem to do anything without feeling completely exhausted. At the end of it all I snapped and had a melt down.

Hubby: "are you upset with me?"

I shook my head.

Hubby: "are you upset with your sister?"

I shook my head.

Hubby: "are you.......pregnant?"

Me: "yes........wahh!!!!!......."

Sigh. I went over to my moms, and walked in the door still drying my many tears.

My mom: "so how did your hubby hurt your feelings?"

Me: "he didn't."

Mom: "well who hurt your feelings?"

Me: "no one"

Mom: ".......then why are you crying?"

Me: "I don't know.......wahhhhh!!!!!

LOL, I'm so thankful that I'm able to recognize when my hormones are having a hay day, so that I can at least get through the roller-coaster rides. I know that this is exactly how God created my body to respond to the many miracles taking place inside of it. God is with me through it, He "gets me" and I don't even have to say anything, and His peace is still a gift for me to receive. My husband has been amazingly supportive, and I couldn't ask for a better man to walk this with. Thank God that those days only come and go sometimes, and that today is a new day. Blessings :)

I've witnessed a miracle

Today I saw my little one off into her mission field, carrying with her the love and mercy of Christ and her God given heart of a lion. Without fear, I am blessed to see all that God has redeemed, and excited to witness more miracles. His heart for my child is more than I can fathom, and I feel so priveledged to be in the front row to watch Him move through my child to bring His love into fallen places. I am absolutely floored when I look at where He has brought me, and the work He has done in my heart. To look back at all the bitterness and resentment I carried with me in my heart, I wonder how I ever had the strength to carry myself out of bed in the morning. The load I carried was so heavy that I would drop it continuously and spill it all over whoever was in my path. I knew I was walking in sin, but refused to let it go, I refused to let God in, because I knew deep down, that He would take away my anger. That anger was all I knew for 4 years, I was afraid of what would be left of me without it, and I was afraid to admit to myself that I was wrong, regardless of what had been done to me. To see the life that God has brought to the dead places, the forgiveness He has showered on the rotten soil, and the fruit He has given in place of dark black muck, is nothing short of amazing. There is nothing I have done to deserve all that He has given me, and there is nothing I can do to deserve all that He continues to do, but He does it anyways, because His love for me is greater than my sin. I don't need to "get it" to reap the fruit of righteousness. All I have to do is choose Him, choose to walk towards the light of the Son, and He will bring me to greater places than I've ever known. I am walking and living proof that miracles do exist, that the dead can be revived and the sinner redeemed. I love walking this road, because I know He is in control of it. Things aren't perfect, and never will be, I still shed some tears when I see her go, I am still a mother with a loud roar. But my heart is submitted to His will, not my own. I can now walk freely in knowing that my God will take care of my little one, and knowing that He doesn't need me meddling messing things up to get His work done. All He wants me to do is pray, soak and praise.

You spoke and made the sun rise

To light up the very first day

You breathed across the water

And started the very first wave

It was You

You introduced Your glory

To every living creature on earth

And they started singing

The first song to ever be heard

They sang for You

You make all things new!

You make all things new!

You redeem and You tranform You renew and You restore

You make all things new!

You make all things new!

And forever we will watch and worship You

You turn the winter into spring

You take every living thing

And you breathe the breath of life into it over and over again

You made the sunrise

day after day after day

But there's a morning coming

When old things will all pass away

And everyone will see!!!!

You make all things new!

You make all things new!

You redeem and You transform You renew and You restore

You make all things new!

You make all things new!

And forever we will watch and worship You

(~Steven Curtis Chapman~)

A small fortune later, my little one is happy after her evening at the fair. It was pouring rain on our way there, so we thought we were going to have to do it another day. Little one was quite dissapointed, but handled it well. We headed in to Walmart since we were there anyway. We said a little prayer to God to ask if He could stop the rain for us, but if not, we knew someone must need the rain more than we needed to go to the fair. When we were done in Walmart, the clouds had broken and the rain had ceased. It was so nice for my hubby and I to share that moment with our little girl. We thanked God together.

Our last couple days, pre-rain

Weeee......... me and Faithfulness on the train at Kinsmen (la la la la)

Three of a kind........Full house

Carebear and I on the Ferris Wheel, ready to be sick

Digging for fossils at the Children's Festival....

Plate spinning......

And tight rope walking.....

Picture perfect

This little piggy's comin home with me

ramblings.....

What makes someone want to be all alone on an island? Sounds like fun, sign me up.....
I'm still trying to get used to this whole concept, it doesn't make sense to me. Being secretive, fake, surfaced, why?? I'm not used to not knowing what's going on in the lives of my loved ones. I'm not used to having to dig for information, usually it's given to me freely, no questions asked. My sister and I were laughing today about how our family is the farthest thing from an island. In fact, we all share the same island, pushing eachother in the water and throwing coconuts at eachother, when we're not swinging from the trees of course. My hubby was trying to encourage me today, reminding me that God has placed everyone in my life for a very specific reason, and I need to keep my eyes focused on that reason, and not my own frustrations. I guess I just don't know how a life that's lived in secret, is worth living at all. Isn't the joy of this life to share it with others? Why do we need to guard everything so closely, and have such suspicions when it comes to sharing our hearts, or heaven forbid, our struggles? What is there to be afraid of?

But aside from all that....
My hubby and I are coming up on our 2nd year anniversary on the 19th! Praise God for His faithfulness, don't know where we would be without His endless mercy and grace in our relationship. I've been amazed lately at how God has redeemed so much in us, and how He continues to be glorified in things that we thought were too muddy to even show His face. My hubby and I both have pasts that lack purity. When we got engaged, we decided that we would walk in righteouness, and save it for our marriage. I can remember thinking when the rubber met the road, that it was easier said than done. One time I ran into a room and closed the door. I was crying to God, saying there's no way I can do this! It's too hard! It was amazing to hear His gentle response. "I've been waiting for you to say that......." From that moment on, I gave God the reigns, and He carried us through, right till the very end, and redeemed all that we had walked through. What a blessing that was, a blessing I never thought I would ever be able to have, from the bad choices I had made. Isn't that God's mercy? Not giving us what we DO deserve, and giving us all that we DON'T deserve. When my hubby and I were first married, we found it very hard to adjust. We can laugh about it all now, and we sure do, but at the time, I wondered why on earth God had ever brought us together. I still stand by my theory that opposites attract because God has a sense of humour. I'm sure I couldn't count how many good laugh attacks we gave Him in those first few months. God continues to walk us through many things, from the choices we've made in our past, and we continue to walk them out together hand in hand. Somehow it doesn't hurt so bad when you know you've got someone right beside you who will love you no matter what. I'm glad that God is walking us through these things, because I know glory is on the other side, and by the word of our testimony many people will come to know His love and forgiveness. I love my husband more than ever, my heart continues to grow and grow for him. I love watching him grow into an amazing man of God. I too easily forget how awesome he is. I know that I am where I am because of how my husband has led me. Of course many times I don't listen, but even then, he's so merciful. I can't wait to see where God will take us in the next year. A new baby....a new home perhaps.... to many new beginnings I'm sure.

May the God who loves and forgives, be glorified in your life today. I taught Sunday school the other week, and we made posters on how we could never ever gain our salvation. We tried to think of analogies, and I loved what the girls came up with....
Like eating your own head,
Like fishing on the moon,
Like camping on the sun,
Like seeing a leprechaun,
Like walking on a rainbow,
It's impossible, to gain what we have already been freely given.
Wow. Amen girls!

My cousin in the back and my niece at her taekwondo competition. Doesn't my cousin look like Jeannine Garofalo?

No but seriously!...........WHO would put that there? Any questions, ask Carebear.

My hubby being a boy with his toys.

A sisterhood made in heaven........where thunder rolls and lightning crashes. lol :)

A present from my little one. Awwww........

I tell ya....... if his mother saw his manners when she's not around......

Weeeee!!!! Go dad!

My lizard has been really sick for the last few weeks. We not exactly up for forking out hundreds of dollars for a vet visit, so we've been trying our best to nurse him back to health. Jericho has not been my favorite household member since day one. The first time I ever held him he pooped on me, and so you know, his poop is never solid. "That stupid lizard" has come out of my mouth at least a million times in the last two years. But in the last few weeks, I've actually developed a heart for the little guy. Seeing him sick and having a hard time has brought something out in me that makes me want to care for him. So, today, I was giving him a dose of calcium, and he pooped all over the clean fresh pants that I had just put on 5 minutes before. Not only that, but when I held him away from me and called for my hubby, he decided he wasn't done, and went all over the floor. Very frustrated, I'm asking myself why I even started caring about THAT STUPID LIAZARD. I knew I wasn't an animal lover, what made me think I could change.

Another little one update

My uterus now comes about 1 1/2 inches above my belly button, and is about the size of a basketball. My baby is over a foot long and weighs close to 2 pounds. Very active, my baby is even more coordinated in it's movements, peddling his or her feet, and has developed a strong grip which baby may use to grasp on to the umbilical cord. Baby's eyes can open and close and react to light. Vocal cords are functioning although baby won't make a peep until that first birth cry. My baby could survive with intensive care if born now.

Have been feeling a little overwhelmed of what the very near future holds. Even though I have a 5 year old little girl, I'm feeling like a first-timer. I didn't really take the reigns of raising my little one until she was one. I figure if I pop out a one year old, I've got it cased no problem. But I'm thinking it'll be a little baby, and I'm feeling very unprepared. As I seek God and His abounding peace, rest and reassurance, I'm reminded that He will be the one walking me through this step by step. I'm reminded that my husband is a first-timer as well, and what a blessing it is to experience this new thing together. I'm reminded that my God has plans for me and my family that are much bigger than mine, that His purpose for me is to walk in faith, trust and complete dependance on Him. Everyday I need to surrender this to Him, and remember that He will give me what I need, when I need it. So blessed that I have so many to encourage me and walk this with me. Thank you, may God bless you today.

6 random facts

1. I like thunder storms.....
one time my hubby and I sat on his mom's roof huddled underneath a blanket, nearly getting hail in our eyeballs, until the winds got so strong that we thought we were going to get blown right off.

2. I am prone to pick at random things on my body.....
My pinky toenail will not grow back from all the times I've ripped it out. If I have an itch, I will scratch until I've broken through the first layer of skin. Cold sores, hang nails, scabs and various other things, get picked off as soon as they come into my sight. Oddly enough I'm not covered in scars.

3. I quit smoking on February 1st 2004.....
My hubby said that he wouldn't marry me unless I quit. I'm pretty sure he was bluffing, but didn't really want to find out for sure.

4. I used to think that the crust of the bread was better for you than the rest of the bread.....
I was always taught that the crust was where the nutrients were, must've been my mom's way of getting me to eat it. Just a few months ago I gave this same line to my daughter, and it took my hubby 20 minutes to convince me that it was not true.

5. I come from a family who knows how important it is to laugh.....
one time my mom got arrested for unpaid parking tickets. The only reason they found her in the first place was because she ran a red light and got hit, right infront of a cop. It didn't take us long to get thrown into a full blown laugh attack over the craziness of the situation. He escorted my mom and I to the cop shop so my mom could pay her debt, and when we got there, my mom was so flustered that she couldn't parallel park. She kept driving up onto the sidewalk, and down again, up on the sidewalk and down again. All this in front of the cop who was waiting outside for my mom, which made us laugh even harder. All laughs were put on hold of course, once my dad heard the news.

6. I think that those cold rolls wrapped in rice paper found in Asian restaurants resemble a male reproductive organ......
I don't eat them, 'nuff said.

I AM: a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a niece, an auntie and a friend.
I WANT: a house and a happy heart.
I WISH: I could be satisfied with all the blessings God has given me.
I HATE: horror movies, nightmares and fear.
I MISS: being able to physically move around as freely as I could.
I FEAR: that my fears might make me miss out on God doing something awesome.
I WONDER: what God is going to show me today.
I REGRET: not being around when my daughter was little. (so I'm glad she's still little)
I AM NOT: as organized as I'd like to be.
I DANCE: when I'm rejoicing and when I'm cleaning. (no there's no connection between the two)
I SING: all the time!
I CRY: these days? over spilled milk.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: known for saying the most intelligent things.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: peace signs, 'I love you' in sign language, music, meals, kick-butt sidewalk chalk art and puppy shadows on the wall.
I WRITE: music, emails and blog posts.
I CONFUSE: people's names if their last name can also be used as a first name.
I NEED: forgiveness and mercy everyday, the body of Christ, my husband's hugs, and my daughter's silliness.
I SHOULD: probably get off my butt and go shower.
I START: saying things that I know I'll regret, but am able to hold my tongue more and more as God continues to chip away at my anger.
I FINISH: saying them when I choose not to listen.
I TAG: whoever wants this, I swiped it and so can you!

My tummy @ 5 months

I'm sporting my first sun burn of the season, it looks like summer!

I'm scratching away at my first mosquitto bites of the season, it looks like summer!

I'm kicking off my blankets in the night, and sweating up a storm, it looks like summer!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My little Tebeebeeness is off to the lake with her dad for the long weekend. My hubby just won a gift certificate for Grainfields from the radio station today. I finally found an awesome pair of maternity pants last night at Value Village for ten bucks. I cross over into my sixth month of pregnancy next week. My hubby thinks my pregnant belly looks hot. :)

God is good all the time. He's been showing His greatness in ways I never expected. I'm so glad He keeps me on my toes, and reminds me just when I need to be, that He is God, and I am not! My faith has been encouraged so much in these last weeks.

Well that's it, I'm off to enjoy my beautiful weekend, many blessings on yours!

My super photogenic family...

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