I feel like a schizophrenic with split personalities. Half of me is in a beauitiful place, with family and an amazing new baby. The other half is in a world of chaos, emotions and anger. As if the shock of the loss was not enough, I have now had to endure much unexpected change in some of my relationships. Friends that I once considered to be my closest companions, have drifted away without a trace, and those whom I never expected have been extending their hand, letting me know that I am loved and not forgotten. I appreciate their gestures... thank-you.

Being with my family day in and day out has been greatly needed, although it's come with it's share of choas as well. At times it has felt like the blind leading the blind, or the deaf arguing and yelling. But even so, I need them.

I'm quite malnourished spiritually, but I don't feel hungry. Shortly after my daughter was born, I struggled with anorexia. To those that don't understand the disorder, it makes them wonder how someone could go hungry everyday, desperately wanting food, but ignoring their hunger pains. This isn't how it goes. It's amazing how your body will get used to what you give it, or don't give it. If you withhold food, it will adjust, and eventually stop feeling hungry, and stop desiring food. I'm quite spiritually malnourished, but I don't feel hungry....