emotional chaos

Have been so flipping emotional it's not even funny......well, yeah it is.

Friday I spent most of my morning sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor bawling my eyes out, then spent a good portion of the afternoon in bed bawling my eyes out. When I finally built up enough strength to get up, I went over to the kitchen to wipe off some of my daughter's place mats that she had painted on. As I wiped the paint off I noticed I was wiping off the finish from the placemat. I felt at that very moment that everyone I knew had just died, and that I was all alone. The placemat was wrecked, and it was the end of my world as I knew it.

Saturday evening I was driving with my hubby in the snow and wind, and the road were slick. Now I'm not a nervous driver. Driving is fun! I'm the kind to actually giggle at people (like my mom) who clench their steering wheel until their knuckles are white, and drive like a snail when the weather is acting up a little. I wonder how people like that can keep their sanity when they feel so uptight. Well, I think I got a taste of how they must feel. I felt so overwhelmed with everything going on around me that I burst into tears. I felt claustrophobic in our little car, I felt like I couldn't see anything, I felt like everyone was driving 1000 mph, and that the wind was going to flip the car over. What's going on??

So the last few days have been a blur, with chronic fatigue and emotional chaos, I can barely tell you what I did yesterday. My hubby has been amazing and very supportive. He's always been encouraging to me even at those monthly times, letting me know that's the way God made me, and that he loves the way I am. Awwwww......don't make me cry.

Just when I think I have no tears left, my body lets me know otherwise. I hope this doesn't make some of you want to steer clear of me. I'm still fun!!! I swear!